Slippin’


I can’t believe it.

Not a single like on my last post….deep. Is this the end of a love affair?? Is it something I said?

So much craziness going on. I don’t even want to go there. I was reading this post on Reddit about how people found out their significant other was cheating on them. I was tempted to drop the story there but I figured I’d share with you. Before I begin, I have to state that this is just one of a few situations where I was cheated on but this was one of the most damaging.

I met this woman online towards the end of my downward spiraling marriage. Thing is, it wasn’t even something that I even took seriously at the time. We met in a chat room. She was going through some shit with her boyfriend. She had 2 kids by him and he was fucking around with some other chick, not coming home, beating on her..all that. She was very articulate, intelligent and not bad looking. Everyone said she looked like Jennifer Connelly (she did). In the beginning it was just a sharing of the souls kind of thing. She lived in Australia and I was all but divorced living a miserable isolated life. It seemed safe because of the distance. We talked for 2 years before we agreed we needed to meet. Being the one with the means, I booked a trip to Hawaii and had her meet me there. We hit it off immediately, like literally at the airport. The whole thing was surreal. Things just progressed from there. I spent time in Australia and she here. It had gotten so serious that we were trying to work out who would move so we could live together.  There was the whole situation with her kids. Their father was being a dick about letting them coming to the states. He had moved and had gotten married. His new wife was also pregnant. So I’m like, what’s the deal? Let it go. I’m not trying to replace him as their father but I would be responsible for them as if they were my own. Sooo..one trip to Australia, we both decided to get tattoos. It was a first for both of us. I got one on my shoulder and she got one on her lower back..a blue dragon. During that trip, her ex was being extremely dickish and pestering. He kept texting her nonsense. It got so bad that we got into a heated argument over it. I was like why are you even responding to him? The kids were at her mom’s so if he needed any info on them, he should call her.. (red flag). Anyway, we patched things up and I proceeded to find a house for us. When she came here, to check it out, I didn’t see the same enthusiasm that she had all along about our future. I chalked it up to having to face the reality of leaving home for real. It wasn’t until she went home that I found out why. One day I was online looking at her Myspace page and I saw comments from him. So I took a look at his page. In his pictures was a shot of her tattoo..taken from her naked body. I fucking lost it. I confronted her with it and she just confessed and said that they’d slept together. I was devastated. Then came the bomb. She was pregnant. If there are levels of done, I was at the ultimate level of completely and utterly done. That shit hurt but in retrospect, I have to consider myself fortunate that it happened when it did. She could have lied and said the kid was mine (he was Black also). I dodged a nuclear bomb to be honest.

Ok so, as usual I will share some music with you. A new tune and remixes of some older takes

 

 

Return of the Merman


You ever feel like everything is fucked up and you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and then you meet someone who, for a moment, makes you feel like yourself again?

That is the theme behind this song. It is a piece that got its name from a Jimi Hendrix song, 1983 (A Merman I should turn to be).

Feelings can be overpowering and suffocating. You can literally drown in your own mind. It is then that we feel most alone, most vulnerable.

It’s amazing that when you look at it from a distance, it is something that ultimately you have control over.  This piece speaks to a moment when you connect with someone who empowers you to feel joy in the midst of self defeat and take control of your destiny…

Mind dump


It’s been a while as usual. I’s sitting her drinking a bottle of Muscadet, like I know WTF that means but it’s not bad. Not too sweet and I have a nice buzz. I’m not a wine drinker at all really. I’ve just run out of weed and I need to relax.

Ever since I dedicated myself to a vegetarian lifestyle, I have all this extra energy that I need to channel. I’m not going into the why’s and therefores because I’m quite sure you’re tired of hearing about it but I  needed to save my life. No joke.  So, the other day I was in Sam’s at the checkout and I was super-hyped. I had all this energy and couldn’t stand still. At one point I heard this sound behind me and I spun around to see what it was and turned back around. So the teller was like “You alright?”. I was suddenly conscious of how odd that might have looked and then she said “you’re over here doing the electric slide”. I busted out laughing. That shit was funny. I couldn’t even protest because she was on point.  I had to laugh because I realized how odd i must have looked.

So, yesterday I picked up the new AppleTv.  Shit is the joint. The thing I like the most is the remote. With Siri, it’s like having total control over what ever you want to see or hear. It doesn’t require line of sight. I tested it by using it in the attic and was blown away that I could control my music selection from up there.

[Continued 4/9]

Sorry, but I had to pause..where was I? AppleTV..yes. If you’re not one of those people who just hates Apple products don’t bother continuing, but if you enjoy the experience, I strongly suggest you pick up the new model. They are working more towards integrating the TV experience into the overall Apple platform. There’s a few new apps specially designed for the TV that I’m experimenting with. I will give a final review in a few days.

This is all part of my cord cutting initiative. Cable companies have been gouging us for decades with often mediocre programming. Now that there are other options available via streaming, they are scrambling to maintain their customer base. I went through major drama with Verizon trying to shut off my FIOS tv. Their billing system is atrocious. They will rip you off if you don’t stay on top of it. Now that they’ve outsourced a lot of their phone reps, it’s a fucking disaster trying to get things sorted when you have issues..Bottom line is that they wanted to charge me for a month of service I never used. after many calls, I finally got it straightened out but I’m done with them for any new business unless they get their act together.  How’s cutting the cord you ask? For me it’s perfect. I prefer being in control of what I watch. The cable companies are trying to hold on by making it a requirement to have a cable account to stream but that model does not scale for today’s consumer. Starz realized this and is right out the gate offering stream access to their programming. I see that as the beginning of the end for the other channels. It’s only a matter of time before individual customized programming takes over completely.

Musically, I’m still working on refining my sound. My focus now has been on improving the quality of my vocals. I’ve become way more comfortable and am trying a lot of new things. So far the response has been very positive. I’m looking to branch out and feature some collaborative work. I’ve got some ideas on laying some vocals down on other artists tracks. There will be some of that coming your way soon.

I’m thinking of starting dating again after my long hiatus. I’ve basically kept women at arm’s length because I was really turned off by the drama. We’ll see how that turns out..lol.

So, I hope you enjoy some of my offerings and I promise to be more engaged.  I know I say that all the time but I really will make stronger efforts.

Much love..

 

Perspectives..


It’s 10:23pm, Wednesday Dec, 23rd…It’s 66 degrees out. The slow boil is on.

The weather is getting more and more extreme. It’s hard to imagine why people deny climate change, but then again I live in a country where they burned people at the stake.

My mind is blown at the moment. 2 physicists were awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics for measuring the oscillation of neutrinos and proving they have mass. To understand why, you have to consider the size of a neutrino. It is estimated that 3 of them would equal one millionth the mass of an electron. We are talking a particle that is ridiculously smaller than a part of an atom. How the fuck do you measure something that small? Deep.

 

I have a couple of things to share..one is a slideshow..it’s not a big deal. I’m just testing a few options for video since I stopped paying for hosting here. It’s too expensive, plus with all the options there are for cloud storage, audio and video sites, it doesn’t really make sense.

Below that is some more stuff that I’m working on. I reposted an earlier track because I made some changes and cleaned up the levels. I hope you enjoy!

 

 

Sassy

Is this real life???


Bienvenue, my fellow droogies. It’s been a minute (as always) that I’ve posted, so I figured I’d break the silence with a few random topics.

Donald Trump

Yes, The Donald as he’s known, has been in the news a lot lately. He is, once again, running for President and to much chagrin, is considered the most liked candidate in recent polls. This is an embarrassment to our country that we can’t do any better than this. It’s not even about political parties (which is out of control btw) but not a good reflection on our seriousness of ourselves. We have let deciding the future of our country turn into a meaningless reality show..sad

Freedom of Speech

Yes. I believe you should be able to express yourself, but on the same hand, be held responsible for your words. We can sit here and bullshit each other into a froth, but that doesn’t change the simple fact that words have consequences. I blame internet anonymity for a lot of the things that people say these days. The inconsequence of being a raging dick to someone gets some people off. I say we do away with it entirely. If you want to be free to say anything, you should be adult enough to put your name to it. Fair is fair.

Bill Cosby

People that are defending him at this point are useless to me. There is nothing in the recent disclosures that can even remotely be considered ok. Getting off on taking advantage of a woman when she is incapacitated is sick. Start there. Yes or No doesn’t even matter at that point. You have crossed a line and should be held accountable. People want to treat him special because he fostered the positive image of black folks. Well it’s not an image. it’s a reality and we should be asking ourselves why it took a fake tv show for it to be recognized. That reality has and will exist without Bill Cosby. As a society we cannot allow this image to blind us from the truth.

Caitlyn Jenner

People are upset that Caitlyn Jenner won the Arthur Ashe award for bravery. It’s not about the award. It’s just people being shitty because they can’t sign on to what it took for him to come out the way he did. I suspect there’s some homophobia blended in there as well. Secondly, its a fucking award. It doesn’t mean that one form of bravery supercedes the other. It’s kinda shitty to set up such a scenario in the first place.

Life in the Universe

I was watching Through the Wormhole the other day. The topic was the search for life. There’s a scientist that is trying to prove that alien life is already here and has been for a long time. He’s done experiments to capture lifeforms in the upper stratosphere that are unlike any other we have seen. It makes way too much sense that life is all over the universe and gets seeded on different planets and moons. Its just a reflection of what we already know is happening right here. Our arrogance and the lies that we have been told are standing in our way of seeing the truth. Let’s hope we don’t exterminate ourselves before we come to that realization.

Okay so I owe you some photos and some music. I’ve been somewhat busy but I have some stuff to share.

This track is a departure for me. Well maybe not a departure because each song is an exploration..so lets call it a movement into the trap dub step genre, which is something I’ve been itching to put my spin on. There’s a story and a message behind it..as always.

Special shout out to Sassy Pandez (the gorgeous woman a the top of the page). This woman is special..

Pics to come soon..

May Day May Day!!


Time to take freaking five.
I’ve been busting my ass like QuiChang Kane. Craziness.
First of all, I’d like to give some shouts to a few folkses because they are special.

avatars-000139153835-t47esl-t500x500Shelli Shell, Shelli Diego who’s doing her thing with elegance and awesomeness. She’s known for her Deep House sessions. She’s bringing her divaliscious flavor to a nujazz downtempo vibe that can be enjoyed via podcast here

 

 

 

 

 

This woman here..the breezy one for just being herself.

sabrina2

 

Mrs. Truesdell..a teacher that reached out in need of support to get her kids some new chairs. I was glad to be a part of this.

I’ve been getting some love lately on Instagram. If you have an account, by all means stop by

I hate to be so random and sparse but I just wanted to reach out and share.

I have a couple of tunes I’m working on that I’d like you to check out:

 

 

And last but not least some shots…