I can’t believe it.

Not a single like on my last post….deep. Is this the end of a love affair?? Is it something I said?

So much craziness going on. I don’t even want to go there. I was reading this post on Reddit about how people found out their significant other was cheating on them. I was tempted to drop the story there but I figured I’d share with you. Before I begin, I have to state that this is just one of a few situations where I was cheated on but this was one of the most damaging.

I met this woman online towards the end of my downward spiraling marriage. Thing is, it wasn’t even something that I even took seriously at the time. We met in a chat room. She was going through some shit with her boyfriend. She had 2 kids by him and he was fucking around with some other chick, not coming home, beating on her..all that. She was very articulate, intelligent and not bad looking. Everyone said she looked like Jennifer Connelly (she did). In the beginning it was just a sharing of the souls kind of thing. She lived in Australia and I was all but divorced living a miserable isolated life. It seemed safe because of the distance. We talked for 2 years before we agreed we needed to meet. Being the one with the means, I booked a trip to Hawaii and had her meet me there. We hit it off immediately, like literally at the airport. The whole thing was surreal. Things just progressed from there. I spent time in Australia and she here. It had gotten so serious that we were trying to work out who would move so we could live together.  There was the whole situation with her kids. Their father was being a dick about letting them coming to the states. He had moved and had gotten married. His new wife was also pregnant. So I’m like, what’s the deal? Let it go. I’m not trying to replace him as their father but I would be responsible for them as if they were my own. trip to Australia, we both decided to get tattoos. It was a first for both of us. I got one on my shoulder and she got one on her lower back..a blue dragon. During that trip, her ex was being extremely dickish and pestering. He kept texting her nonsense. It got so bad that we got into a heated argument over it. I was like why are you even responding to him? The kids were at her mom’s so if he needed any info on them, he should call her.. (red flag). Anyway, we patched things up and I proceeded to find a house for us. When she came here, to check it out, I didn’t see the same enthusiasm that she had all along about our future. I chalked it up to having to face the reality of leaving home for real. It wasn’t until she went home that I found out why. One day I was online looking at her Myspace page and I saw comments from him. So I took a look at his page. In his pictures was a shot of her tattoo..taken from her naked body. I fucking lost it. I confronted her with it and she just confessed and said that they’d slept together. I was devastated. Then came the bomb. She was pregnant. If there are levels of done, I was at the ultimate level of completely and utterly done. That shit hurt but in retrospect, I have to consider myself fortunate that it happened when it did. She could have lied and said the kid was mine (he was Black also). I dodged a nuclear bomb to be honest.

Ok so, as usual I will share some music with you. A new tune and remixes of some older takes



Untangled webs

We’ve all done it. We’ve all had them thrown at us.
What is it that makes a person lie? Sometimes it’s insecurity, sometimes it’s to avoid the consequences of the truth and sometimes it’s a mental issue.
I have experienced all of the above in personal and professional relationships. I ask myself what’s worse, knowing that the person is lying or believing the lie? I guess I’d have to say believing the lie, because you can put yourself in a much worse situation. If you know, the issue is motive and trust. Both deep, but I’d say finding out later that a lie was told is more damaging. If you love the person, it can destroy you if you let it.
Learning about the consequences of lies can be a life lone journey. I have had lies told to me that altered the course of my life, decided who I married, and almost made me hurt someone badly.
I used to hear my mother say stuff like, the truth will come to light. I would be cynical because I simply associated it with her zealous religious views or her desire to control me. I never thought it reflected reality. Until I got older.
As I aged and got to see things play out, I would come to a new level of understanding, deeper than anything she would conceive. Words are words, reality is reality. You can alter perceptions, but you cannot change reality. There are laws governing reality that cannot be broken.
I told a lie to my ex girlfriend out of embarrassment over the truth. At the time we really weren’t heavy so I made an excuse in my head that it was ok. It turned out, as it always does, that she found out through a mutual acquaintance. This acquaintance embellished the story and even went to the level of fabricating stuff. This got into my ex’s head and she never really trusted in me. Mind you, she told me some winners too, but I knew about most of them. The point I’m making is that had I not done that, it could have changed things dramatically or maybe not at all. Destiny has a way of making itself happen regardless of your actions. The fact that you’re reading this is connected to that reality.
Anyway, what I want to say is, if you’re confronted with a situation where you are tempted to lie, think of the consequences of the truth coming to light, as it always does, before you open your mouth.


Blurry Cain
If you’re alive you’ve probably heard about Herman Cain, one of the Republican candidates for President, being accused of sexually harassing someone 12 years ago. I believe he did it and what’s worse is the fact he didnt fess up immediately. I will start by saying politicians lie, but politicians are people and people lie, plain and simple. Not for nothing but I can totally see him going, “Yo baby, why don’t you give me a slice of that ass?”. Ok that aside, I was convinced when I saw the footage of him at an event where a reporter first asked him about it, and his very first reaction was to not answer. Not, deny, not go “whatchu mean harass?”, no, none of that. He froze, and in that second if you look at his body language, you can tell he was going “oh shit!”. It was downhill from there. He played the race card, the double speak card, the victim card and now the blame card. Dude, cash in your over.

Slick Rick
Rick came on strong. He was the Republican Messiah. Someone the right wingers could hold their nose and vote for and he totally fucked it up. The moment he started speaking on issues of substance, he got all twisted and confuzzled. Then the other day, dude looked like he was on Prozac or some shit. He looked like he had some of that same shit Mike Tyson was on when he was on Dancing with the Stars in Argentina. All goofy and animated. I’m like where do I get some of that? I want to feel like that for a few minutes, damn.

The Occupy Wall street movement is in trouble. They started out with a message and had all this positive energy and it was summer. Now it’s cold, the nut jobs have joined in and their message isn’t clear. Out west people are breaking shit. All that does is put a negative image on the whole movement. I mean, I hear where they are coming from. People are frustrated, but what is it they expect to happen? Do they really think while they are laying on the cold ass ground, some millionare sitting in his penthouse sucking on martinis is gonna give a shit? This will be interesting. Once the media turns on them, it will be over. I wish them luck though. But their grievance is against a machine that is global. If it were more focused and incremental, I’d think they would accomplish something instead of catching pneumonia sleeping on the damn ground.

To be continued….