Under Covers..


These are a few cover concepts for a few songs that I wrote. links to the tracks are below each of them.

This first one is from a shot I took of the first thing I saw that morning from my perspective. It was a very bright morning. I lay there thinking how fortunate I was just to be alive and thought I would try to capture that feeling artistically. The result was the song “Shine”

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This is a cover to my song “The Time Traveler’s Blues”. The song itself is about May December relationships..an expression of my own personal experiences with younger women. The struggle between desire and rationality..wondering what the future holds as we all do in relationships. Finding ourselves taking inventory on our lives and the things that we want. Justifying that which you know is doomed to fail..

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Reaching out


As promised.

I just want to say thanks first for the positive response. Feels good.

For those of you that are connected to me on G+, (a fantastic bunch by the way) You may have seen these but here I hope to add a little more flavor by sharing my thoughts

This shot was taken some time ago. Boomer, who was the best dog ever, and I had gone to the park. This was not long after I’d gotten him. He was a rescue dog and my first pit bull. He taught me a lot about mysef…life. At this time, I still wasn’t too sure of how he’d behave and he was feeling me out..each of us tesing each other’s boundaries. I was taking some pictures of what was becoming a beautiful sunset. He walked out in the field as if to get a good view and stood there watching the sun go down with me. I don’t ever remember having a dog that was remotely interested in the sky. It was a moment that connected us in a very deep way

I will be the first to admit, I have a very strange face. I look very different at times..almost chameleon like.I’m not really one that’s into selfies because it’s draws too much focus on me, but at the same time, I am attempting not to feel withdrawn. I like to experiment with portraits and being alone I have a limited choice of subjects. This pic was more of a note to myself

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This pic is one of my faves because I was surprised how much of the reflection I was able to capture. This is an arch at River Walk Park. There are a series of them. Each representing a different industrial period in human history. I felt like I was able to appreciate the artist’s vision from this perspective.

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Days off are so underrated


So, I took today off.
I’m laying here in the den where I slept last night trying to make a decision on what my first act of the day will be, looking at this mini pile of shoes that I wear around the house and it dawned on me that my first act of independence had already taken place.
By now I would have gotten up frantically worrying about what the first meeting of the day would be like, trying to decide what to scoff down in the little time that I have to prepare. Yet here I lay under my comforter in my sweats/pajamas, debating if I should even get up.
This simple act of defiance made me realize the kind of stress we put ourselves through during a normal work day.
It starts from the moment you open your eyes.
We are so programmed that we don’t realize what that’s doing to us physically and mentally.
I ask myself how many hours or seconds have my added to my life by not stressing the moment I open my eyes?
I think I’ll lay here and let that percolate for a minute.

A Lesson Learned


So, yesterday I went to South River Walk Park, one of my favorite places, to do some shooting. It was a particularly cloudy which can make for awesome sunsets. I took a few shots of my surroundings, as I always do, and proceeded to get in the car. I was approached by this young Hispanic kid. He was tapping on the window, so I rolled it down a bit to see what he wanted. He asked me what I was filming and why was I taking pictures of him. So I told him I wasn’t, just taking landscape shots and that I never take pictures of peoples faces unless I ask. He was insistent that I had taken his picture. As we talked, his friend came over. I didn’t feel particularly threatened but cautious. This kid didn’t look like he could take a punch and seemed to be obsessed over having his photo taken. He walked to the front and started taking pictures of my plates saying he was gonna call the cops. So I got annoyed and got out of the car to show him the pictures, which I did. He wasn’t satisfied that I hadn’t switched cards and at this point I was done being nice. I realized that I had turned my back on the other guy and I turned around to see where he was. He was nowhere to be seen. So I get in the car and I realized that my phone was gone. I corned the other guy with the car and asked him where his friend was. He of course claimed he didn’t know anything. At this point I sized up the situation. I don’t know where his friend is..I could beat him to a pulp but he doesn’t have anything. I could grab him but I had no phone to call for help, so I went to the next corner and flagged down a guy to use his phone. Mind you, on the way there, I passed 3 patrol vans right around the corner, so says I, they shouldn’t take long to get here. WRONG. I stood there for another 30 mins then it started raining, so I get in the car. A police van, went right past me so I tried flashing them but they kept going. So, I left.

This park is in Trenton at the edge of a cemetery and a few modern condos BUT up the block, the neighborhood changes character. It’s the hood. Very dilapidated..lot’s of poverty and crime, so you can’t just Sally around. And here I am driving the jag as the sun sets like come take it. So my plan was to go home, switch cars, get my iPad to locate it and take my equalizer with me..along with a hammer. During all this, I made phone calls to ATT and a buddy of mine, by accident actually, but it was a good thing. He talked me down. I went this morning to the last known location and sitting there made me realize that this was an act of futility. I went to the police station to file a claim (tried that last night but they never called back).

So what did I learn?
The police are pathetic. When I was at the station the desk officer didn’t even have a form to file the complaint. She tore a sheet of paper to get my info. Let that soak in..a piece of ripped paper.

That part of Trenton is wow. If I didn’t grow up in the hood, there’s no way I would even get out of my car around there.

It’s not worth it. I could have killed either of them, or been killed over a phone.

A hammer is the weapon of choice for people that go after phone thieves. (I discovered this in my Google search of these incidents)

I’ve gotten better with my temper.

Trying to use a Blackberry as a navigator is not the move if you’re driving through really bad neighborhoods

Get insurance..(I thought I had but no)

Photography can be hazardous

Catching up


Image

Chillax

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything of substance.  I’m on the second week of my two week vacation.  It takes at least seven days two relax for me.  So the first week I spent practically doing much of nothing.  I did my lawn, which by the way needs to be done again, and I attempted to clean my house.  I have a few things that I want to do this coming week, but I’m going to play it by ear.  The key to a vacation is to relax.  Most people, including myself at one time, plan vacations and have all of these activities that they want to accomplish.  There’s nothing wrong with that except you don’t get the rest that you should if you’re always worried about an itinerary.  That stress will counteract any relaxation that you have in mind.  My job is extremely stressful. The people that work with are challenging to say the least and I have a lot going on in my personal life that is fucking with my mind.  So I have one objective, unwind.

Christian Mingle Swindle

I thought that I would take the opportunity to discuss random things that have been going through my head over the past few days. I was just watching this commercial on television for the website Christian Mingle.  What a con.  I feel this way for two reasons, the exploitation of people using a web site to make money on their loneliness, and the façade of some spiritual connection.  I have always been one to challenge religious beliefs and customs. A lot of it doesn’t make sense.  Why are there so many religions?  How could they all be right?  Why would a god that wanted people to believe in him be so elusive?  Why is there evil in the world?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why don’t I see in the types of things that occurred in the bible today?  Why can’t anyone prove any of the stuff that is described in the bible?  It would seem to me logically if I were a supreme being and I wanted people to worship me, I would show myself and make it known that I was in control. Even more so, why wouldn’t I just make people behave and save myself some grief?  These are questions that most of us have asked at one time or another but only some will openly admit it.  To me it’s logical to ask those questions.   I have come to a conclusion that religion is a man manufactured form of control.  So putting that on the side let’s look at the larger question,  whether or not there is a supreme being.  When you look at the universe in its complexity and vastness, it’s hard to imagine that the Supreme Being would create all of that for the purpose of putting us here. It would be the equivalent of creating the entire solar system to support an atom.  We are insignificant. It is our own arrogance that places us in a position of relevance. This view is the core of most religious beliefs.  The bible states that god created man in his image.  I believe the reverse is true.  We created the idea of god to fill the need to have an explanation for a universe that we do not understand.  When you look at the amount of knowledge that was available at the time when these scriptures were written, you understand that these people didn’t know much of anything.  Imagine being in a position of religious authority and having the responsibility of explaining the creation of everything. That is a heavy burden.  So they took a little poetic license and came up with what they thought was a bullet proof plan, tell everyone that these ideas are from the creator himself and to question them will lead to horrible things. In essence, use fear and ignorance as a form of control. It was a beautiful plan because it still works after all this time.  So let’s put that on the side.  Does that mean that there is no conscious entity in control of things? That would depend on an understanding of consciousness. Our brains only process a small amount of the information that is part of our environment. The constructs of our thoughts are based on sensory input that is subjective. We are only aware of a small fraction of what is happening at any given moment so our understanding of reality is incomplete.  Here typically one would insert the idea that this proves there is a god and he or she is completely unknowable. Nice try but It doesn’t PROVE anything except the fact that there is more to learn.  I could go on further and further into this discussion but that’s essentially the gist of my point.  I don’t say these things to be insulting, rather as a summation of the facts as I understand them.  I put this disclaimer here because a lot of people have an emotional response when it comes to discussing religion so I tend to stay away from this conversation.  When emotions are involved, logic can go right out of the window.

I completely drifted off of the reason why I was disturbed by this advertisement for that web site.  The point is that religion is used as a tool to manipulate people.  This web site is all about getting your money.  The irony of the whole thing is that it is using a religious pretext with tools developed by science to get that money from you.  Part of the add even states that they are finding god’s match for you.  If god wanted you to meet someone, why would you need a web site?  Wouldn’t it just happen?  This segues into another pet peeve of mine, why does a church need money?  If the church is an instrument of the creator then one would think that it should be self-sustaining.  Why would they need a man-made creation, money, to survive? They need money because it’s all a scam.  It is a ruse to separate you from your money. They convince you that you’re doing something good and responsible, when all you are actually doing is lining someone else’s pocket.  It kind of reminds me of a line from the Star Trek movie. “The Undiscovered Country”, where Captain Kirk asked the creature that claimed to be the creator, “why does god need a space ship?”

Pussy Hound – The unwritten laws of boys and fools


I had a convo with my woman. She asked why are men the way they are when it comes to screwing around.

I told her because its expected.  Theres like this rule that guys are supposed to be pussy hounds.

  • Youre supposed to always chase it .
  • If you get it, brag about it.
  • Not have any feelings.
  • Only look out for yourself.
  • Take advantage when u can.
  • Never let a woman control.

When you’re young and trying to fit in with the boys, this behavior is looked up to. Makes you a man. But think about it; how can a person that’s never been a man, know what men are supposed to do? It’s a process that takes a lifetime to learn. So being naive, guys fall into that trap. It’s that simple.

Now this isn’t to say ALL guys are the same way. There are some that are smart enough to say, fuck off and do the right thing; but that can be difficult for some as they have to weigh being ostricized by their peers. This behavior can follow some guys into their adulthood where they then confuse being a man and showing independance with being an asshole to women. You will hear guys go “you’re the man”. Being “the man” is interpreted as being in control. Getting the prize pussy. Mind you, no consideration is taken upon the woman as a person. She’s just a trophy.

The flip side of this are the women that tolerate this behavior and think it’s ok to be passed around and dogged. Somehow they see that as being desirable and sexy. Then they wonder why they get cheated on. Go figure..