I can’t believe it.

Not a single like on my last post….deep. Is this the end of a love affair?? Is it something I said?

So much craziness going on. I don’t even want to go there. I was reading this post on Reddit about how people found out their significant other was cheating on them. I was tempted to drop the story there but I figured I’d share with you. Before I begin, I have to state that this is just one of a few situations where I was cheated on but this was one of the most damaging.

I met this woman online towards the end of my downward spiraling marriage. Thing is, it wasn’t even something that I even took seriously at the time. We met in a chat room. She was going through some shit with her boyfriend. She had 2 kids by him and he was fucking around with some other chick, not coming home, beating on her..all that. She was very articulate, intelligent and not bad looking. Everyone said she looked like Jennifer Connelly (she did). In the beginning it was just a sharing of the souls kind of thing. She lived in Australia and I was all but divorced living a miserable isolated life. It seemed safe because of the distance. We talked for 2 years before we agreed we needed to meet. Being the one with the means, I booked a trip to Hawaii and had her meet me there. We hit it off immediately, like literally at the airport. The whole thing was surreal. Things just progressed from there. I spent time in Australia and she here. It had gotten so serious that we were trying to work out who would move so we could live together.  There was the whole situation with her kids. Their father was being a dick about letting them coming to the states. He had moved and had gotten married. His new wife was also pregnant. So I’m like, what’s the deal? Let it go. I’m not trying to replace him as their father but I would be responsible for them as if they were my own. trip to Australia, we both decided to get tattoos. It was a first for both of us. I got one on my shoulder and she got one on her lower back..a blue dragon. During that trip, her ex was being extremely dickish and pestering. He kept texting her nonsense. It got so bad that we got into a heated argument over it. I was like why are you even responding to him? The kids were at her mom’s so if he needed any info on them, he should call her.. (red flag). Anyway, we patched things up and I proceeded to find a house for us. When she came here, to check it out, I didn’t see the same enthusiasm that she had all along about our future. I chalked it up to having to face the reality of leaving home for real. It wasn’t until she went home that I found out why. One day I was online looking at her Myspace page and I saw comments from him. So I took a look at his page. In his pictures was a shot of her tattoo..taken from her naked body. I fucking lost it. I confronted her with it and she just confessed and said that they’d slept together. I was devastated. Then came the bomb. She was pregnant. If there are levels of done, I was at the ultimate level of completely and utterly done. That shit hurt but in retrospect, I have to consider myself fortunate that it happened when it did. She could have lied and said the kid was mine (he was Black also). I dodged a nuclear bomb to be honest.

Ok so, as usual I will share some music with you. A new tune and remixes of some older takes



Paradise Lost. Part 1

Picking up the story from my last post, I arrive in Hawaii. I got there a day before she was scheduled to arrive. This was due to a conflict in the available flights at the time. I was able to settle in and then go pick her up from the airport the next day. It was an unusual experience. Here was someone who I had spent close to a year speaking to, but had never seen in person. She wasn’t a stranger, we knew everything about each other, but it was awkward nonetheless. I drove to the nearest bar so we could have a couple of drinks to calm ourselves and to get to know each other in a non-threatening environment. I found a bar that turned out to be a dive. It was actually perfect because it didn’t give the air of pretense. It was authentic and rustic. It was somewhat symbolic as to what I was expecting from this new relationship. It took about an hour before we were comfortable with each other. I drove to the resort and we checked in. That whole idea of waiting and keeping things on the platonic level evaporated within the first 20 minutes of us being there. After the initial stumbling, everything seemed natural.
We stayed in Kauai. I picked that island because it’s not as developed as Honolulu. I didn’t want that tourist vibe. We got to explore the island quite a bit. One night it even stormed and knocked out the electricity while we were having dinner. So we had dinner by candlelight. The whole trip was surreal but somehow it seemed predestined.
At the end of our stay, neither of us wanted to go back to our regular lives. It was extremely difficult getting on that plane and coming back to the misery that I had escaped. I was not the same person that left. I had taken a chance and done something completely for myself regardless of the outcome. This was a major milestone for me. The return home was, shall we say, less than spectacular. Having something new to look forward to made everything bearable. It sounds cold, but I couldn’t wait until my divorce was finalized. My ex-wife, sensing that something was amiss, started making things difficult.
I spent a considerable amount of time in hotels.
Within a short period of time, I believe three months or so, I planned a trip to Australia. This was another huge decision for me. I was about to travel halfway around the world by myself. I tried to learn as much as I could about their cultures. I had heard so many things about Aborigines and I couldn’t wait to see one face-to-face. I was extremely excited. I couldn’t believe that I was doing this.
On the day of my flight I sat next to this woman who had also met someone from Australia online. She was leaving the US permanently to get married to this guy that she had fallen in love with. She had two daughters that she was leaving behind. That conversation was pretty deep, but she was convinced that she was doing the right thing. I felt encouraged by her sharing her story with me. What I was doing didn’t seem so crazy after all. Even though we were half world apart it really was no different than meeting someone who was just in another state.
Niki had two little boys as I mentioned before. I didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to come stay at her place initially. I booked rooms in a resort that was on the beach. The plan was to pick her up from her home and drive to the resort leaving the children with her mother. Once we spent some time alone we would then get the children. It took 27 hours to get there. When I arrived I had a rental waiting for me, but I had never driven a car with the steering wheel on the right side. Plus, they drove on the other side of the street. It was a challenge getting out of the airport parking lot. Here I was, jetlagged out of my mind, no clue where I am, driving a right handed vehicle for the first time and she was not fully licensed. It took some getting used to. The hardest part of driving was using the mirrors and confusing the wiper blades with the turn signal. I was just happy with not getting us killed. The trip was awesome. We were having the time of our lives. On my second day at the resort the phone rang. Niki answered the phone and her face went pale. She turns to me and says, “it’s for you, it’s your wife.”I was completely dumbfounded. How did this woman even know where I was? How could this be happening? I answered the phone and sure enough it was her. She started asking me questions about my trip and if I was enjoying myself. We argued for a bit and then I hung up the phone. She called back, I answered and hung up again. She called back again. I then called the front desk and told them not to allow any more calls to be sent to my room. I was heated. Here I was a half a world away and she still managed to fuck it up. Niki was very cool. We went to dinner had a few drinks and laughed about it. Upon my return to the hotel, I opened the room door and there was a envelope on the floor. It was a form from the hotel asking for my signature to release them from any liability of being sued by my wife because she had called and threatened the hotel for not putting her calls through. I stood there in utter disbelief. I took the form down to the main desk. I explained to the clerk what the situation was and apologize for putting them in the middle of my mess, but I let them know that she is in another country and has no legal jurisdiction over what goes on in this hotel so they can relax. I found it interesting that they had a form letter for that scenario. In my discussion with the clerk, she told me that they often have to deal with personal situations of that nature and they have to protect themselves. Needless to say, I was not feeling any of this. I wanted my marriage over. I wanted to be away from her permanently. Things were not going as smoothly as I had planned. My next goal was to make sure that I got my divorce finalized and ended that nightmare. What happened next was unbelievable..