mysteries of life

Are we there yet?


2016 will go down as the year of WTF. Seriously, WTF 2016? I know you’re probably as tired as I am talking about the election but it’s just that incredible. It’s got me literally walking around looking at people asking myself, are you high? We have no choice but to let it play itself out at this point. I’m embarrassed to tell the rest of the world I’m an American right now.

In any case, I hope all is well with you. I wasn’t quite done with the summer yet but fall is upon us now. It’s a favorite time of year for me because of the colors of the foliage. It’s a shame it only lasts for a few weeks. I am not looking forward to winter.

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This was from a week or two ago. The leaves are almost all down now. When the weather is nice it’s really peaceful back here. I have so much work to do for next year. I want to plant some more flowers. I read this article about the disappearing bee population. It turns out that we have been responsible for this (as usual). Bees need a variety of flora. That is how they feed and take care of themselves. We have gotten so into grassy yards, we have practically eliminated all the native species of plants that they thrive on. My goal is to re-populate my yard with many varieties of flowers and things like clover. I’m already the person with the most trees on their property. Most of my neighbors have cleared most of their plots. I don’t get why people don’t realize that trees are vital to our survival and to the ecosystem.

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The down side to having all these trees is the leaf clean up. I’ve already hurt my back from being too aggressive cleaning them up. I sit on my ass way too many hours of the day and I over compensate trying to get exercise by doing yard work. It can be a hassle but it invigorates me.

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I was in the city a few weeks ago on the East Side. I was standing on this corner and for some reason a flood of memories overcame me from all my years I spent growing up there. Just so much of my life was here and now I feel like a tourist. It’s been 17 years since I left NY. A lot has changed. It’s kinda weird going there now because it’s like I know where I am but everything has changed. You don’t really appreciate it while you’re there. It’s gradual and subtle but continuous. It’s not until you’re away for a long time that you really see how different it is. What’s always fascinated me is that there are millions of people here but everyone walks past each other in silence. People only interact if forced to.

When you think about all the politics and bullshit going on in the world, it’s like none of it applies to real life on the street. It’s always been and always will be about people going on about their daily lives. A lot of the shit we go through as a society is the work of a very few people. People generally just want to live in peace.

So I’ve been very touched by the level of appreciation I have been getting across the board for my works. People are enjoying my photos and music. This is very special for me. It feels like I am connecting on another level with people. Being able to express yourself is amazing. I strongly encourage you to do the same regardless of what you feel people may think. Expressing yourself brings you closer to yourself. It forces you to ask the question of who you really are.

I decided to organize some of my music by type. It’s kinda difficult since my mission was to blur the lines between genres, so I decided to break them into groups based on the moods I feel they represent. I’m hoping it will allow people to sample more of my music that they may like. To that end,  here’s some stuff i collected I hope you will enjoy. Try listening with headphones for the best experience.

The doppelgänger effect


It happened again tonight.

I went to a bar and the bartender says to me, “Hi, how have you been? Every time I see you you’re losing weight.” The only problem is I’ve never met her before. I can’t tell you how weird it is to have this constantly happening to me. It’s almost as if I’m in a dream. I guess I should be honored that she thinks I look good.

Something I put together for my electronica followers. I hope you enjoy

Release Yourself

Rumors of my death


Yeah, it’s been a minute since I’ve posted yet again. I’ve been going through a lot of changes. I got real sick a month or so ago. I was with my cousin in Sam’s. I started feeling a little lightheaded and I decided to check my blood pressure. It was really high.
I joked to him that I was going to die, but secretly I was really concerned. The next day I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I couldn’t swallow and my face was swollen. It turns out that I was suffering from sinusitis, along with two inner ear infections and swollen glands. I was running a fever, and I was suffering from vertigo. I decided right then and there if I would survive, I would do everything in my power to take better care of myself. Being as how I couldn’t eat anything anyway, I went on a liquid diet.
At first I was just drinking water because I couldn’t make it to the store, but when I did, I decided that I would start juicing again.
The best thing for headaches or a hangover is vegetable juice. Tell your friends.
After a couple of days of juicing, I started feeling a little bit better, but I was still very weak. Since I wasn’t eating anything solid, I decide to take the opportunity to lose some weight.
My diet consisted of vegetable juice and fruit juice. if I felt hungry in between, I would have a glass of really cold water with lime juice. This curbed my appetite tremendously.
After 14 days I lost 25 pounds. I was exceptionally weak but I felt like a new person was emerging inside of me.
To help with my sinuses, I made sure that I stayed in a room with an air purifier. It was, I realized, September, the beginning of allergy season for me, which is always major drama.
As the pounds melted away, I started feeling myself having greater mobility. I didn’t realize how fat I had gotten. when i started, I was 255 lbs. Today I am 225.
I have also decided to give up meat. This is something that I’ve tried before for a short period of time, but I decided to make a permanent life style change to eliminate meat from my diet. I also decided to give up sugar, which is something I had done before but kind of fell back into.
When you embark on any diet, you suddenly become aware of the things you can’t have. After a period of time, you will also become aware of how much pressure and brainwashing is in advertising to influence your eating habits. You literally cannot watch any sports without there being an ad for something that is completely unhealthy.
Getting back to my story, I had a migraine that lasted me for 36 hours. I know exactly how long it lasted because I did not sleep during that entire time. I literally thought it was the end for me. This caused me to start thinking about what preparations I have made for dealing with my death. Feeling that it was a strong possibility, I started taking notes to send to my sister on how to handle whatever remained of my assets. After making that recording I was totally bummed out and a little disappointed, so I decided that I was not ready to die just yet. My mission would be to let nature bring me back. I would use every trick in the book I knew to get me back on my feet.
After the first two weeks of liquids only, I gradually started adding solids back to my diet. I would have one solid a day. I started with a banana, then oatmeal. I would prepare the oatmeal plain, adding a little raw honey. in between each meal I continue to have the cold lime water to cut down on my cravings.
The pounds melted off of me, but I felt very weak. Concerned that I was moving too fast I decided to have egg whites and tunafish as a protein substitute. I know this is a violation of my strict no meat policy but it was only temporary to regain my strength. I felt it was OK as long as I wasn’t eating red meat. this is where I am now. Ultimately I am going to go back to vegetables only because I know that it is much healthier for me.
There is an argument that people repeat when it comes to not eating meat. They always say that we have canine teeth which is designed to tear flesh. Using that argument you might as well say we should still be climbing trees because we have toenails.
I have done a lot of research online to get recipes that I can enjoy during my transition. For my meat substitute I am going to use tofu going forward. there is a psychological barrier that you have to overcome when you’re making dramatic changes to your eating habits. Most of that comes from the influences that I mentioned earlier. When you step back and take a look at what food companies are doing to you, you will understand that brainwashing is a real thing.
Most of you have probably seen videos of what happens to cows and pigs in slaughter houses. If you haven’t, I suggest that you Google some YouTube videos and get educated. When I see people on line in the drive-through’s, to me they are no different than the pigs and cows being led to slaughter that they are consuming. The food industry is one vast system of control that is designed to sustain itself even at the risk of killing people. Why? Because people are a replenishable source. Their goal is to make money anyway they can. Any attempts that we have made as citizens to get them to identify what they are really feeding us have been thwarted or completely ignored. The next time you buy juice in the supermarket, look at the ingredients. In some cases you will see things like natural flavors. Think about it, what are they talking about? That means absolutely nothing as far as detail is concerned but they are allowed to get away with it.
So this is where I am right now mentally. It’s amazing that as you grow older, you may go through a big change in your perspective of life, but you never expected to happen again and again. The things I see now, I am shocked that I was ever blind to.

As is customary, I am going to share with you some photos that I’ve taken, and some music.
Get It Started (NetFlix and Chill)
I hope that in your lifetime you experience the power of enlightement. By enlightenment I don’t mean a greater understanding of a concept, but an awareness that changes your view of everything around you. Peace

   
    
    
 

Beauty isn’t something you see..


It’s something you feel.

So, I go on photo walks to get some pictures of nature..everyday life. To really appreciate life, you have to look to nature..not the nature of our every day life, but the deep structure of matter. Accepting that life is an emergent property of the structure of the universe is just mindbogglingly beautiful and mysterious. Function arises from structure all the way down to the fabric of space time. You, me, everything between your eyes and these words all are part of the singularity that gave rise to our existence. I think about that every day and it puts things in perspective..

(thanks for visiting..you guys are making me very happy right now!)

At every level
there is wonder..
Sassy

Is this real life???


Bienvenue, my fellow droogies. It’s been a minute (as always) that I’ve posted, so I figured I’d break the silence with a few random topics.

Donald Trump

Yes, The Donald as he’s known, has been in the news a lot lately. He is, once again, running for President and to much chagrin, is considered the most liked candidate in recent polls. This is an embarrassment to our country that we can’t do any better than this. It’s not even about political parties (which is out of control btw) but not a good reflection on our seriousness of ourselves. We have let deciding the future of our country turn into a meaningless reality show..sad

Freedom of Speech

Yes. I believe you should be able to express yourself, but on the same hand, be held responsible for your words. We can sit here and bullshit each other into a froth, but that doesn’t change the simple fact that words have consequences. I blame internet anonymity for a lot of the things that people say these days. The inconsequence of being a raging dick to someone gets some people off. I say we do away with it entirely. If you want to be free to say anything, you should be adult enough to put your name to it. Fair is fair.

Bill Cosby

People that are defending him at this point are useless to me. There is nothing in the recent disclosures that can even remotely be considered ok. Getting off on taking advantage of a woman when she is incapacitated is sick. Start there. Yes or No doesn’t even matter at that point. You have crossed a line and should be held accountable. People want to treat him special because he fostered the positive image of black folks. Well it’s not an image. it’s a reality and we should be asking ourselves why it took a fake tv show for it to be recognized. That reality has and will exist without Bill Cosby. As a society we cannot allow this image to blind us from the truth.

Caitlyn Jenner

People are upset that Caitlyn Jenner won the Arthur Ashe award for bravery. It’s not about the award. It’s just people being shitty because they can’t sign on to what it took for him to come out the way he did. I suspect there’s some homophobia blended in there as well. Secondly, its a fucking award. It doesn’t mean that one form of bravery supercedes the other. It’s kinda shitty to set up such a scenario in the first place.

Life in the Universe

I was watching Through the Wormhole the other day. The topic was the search for life. There’s a scientist that is trying to prove that alien life is already here and has been for a long time. He’s done experiments to capture lifeforms in the upper stratosphere that are unlike any other we have seen. It makes way too much sense that life is all over the universe and gets seeded on different planets and moons. Its just a reflection of what we already know is happening right here. Our arrogance and the lies that we have been told are standing in our way of seeing the truth. Let’s hope we don’t exterminate ourselves before we come to that realization.

Okay so I owe you some photos and some music. I’ve been somewhat busy but I have some stuff to share.

This track is a departure for me. Well maybe not a departure because each song is an exploration..so lets call it a movement into the trap dub step genre, which is something I’ve been itching to put my spin on. There’s a story and a message behind it..as always.

Special shout out to Sassy Pandez (the gorgeous woman a the top of the page). This woman is special..

Pics to come soon..

Eyes wide shut


Disclaimer: The following may cause disorientation, vertigo and/or slight panic. If you currently suffer from any of these symptoms for any medical or psychological reasons, do not continue. 

What I am about to show you can have an impact ranging from mild curiosity to altering the way you view reality. 

The first thing I can guarantee is that even after reading the disclaimer, none of you will have stopped reading. Your curiosity won’t let you. Right now even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stop reading this sentence. You’re hearing these words in your mind as you read them and at the same time, anxiety and tension is starting to build up over finding out what the hell I’m talking about. 

Okay, now that I have your attention, let’s continue…

Follow these instructions very carefully!

Close one of your eyes and continue to read until otherwise instructed.

As you read this sentence I want you to focus on everything you can see without looking away. Just stare at this line for a moment. Now without moving your head, look around and analyze everything that you can see with that one eye. 

Okay, now switch eyes and repeat the same process. Become very aware of everything that you can see without turning your head.

 Are you feeling anxious yet?

Of course not you’re probably annoyed thinking this is bullshit, what has this guy got me doing? Trust me just follow these instructions and you’ll understand. 

Now, open both your eyes. 

Blink a few times. 

I want you to answer this simple math question, what is 2+2?

I’ll give you a second. I know you’re probably thinking this some kind of trick to this, but there isn’t. 

The answer is of course 4.

Now remember when you were reading this with one eye and you could see your nose? Where is it?

It’s still there. But you have blocked it out. As you’re reading this you’re becoming aware of it and it’s starting to interfere with your reading. But you will soon notice that you can control it. It may be a little disorienting at first. 

You do this all the time without realizing it. 

This doesn’t just happen with your eyes, it happens with your entire body. Where is your foot? Your elbow? Your ear? 

 Your brain is actually aware of everything that’s happening around you at all times , but you control what you want to process in more detail. 

 Think about this for a while, and as you’re thinking I want you to start to become more aware of what’s around you. Practice this everyday and you will start to soon realize that you have been walking through life with your eyes and mind half open. 

Pass this on to a friend. 

Grandma’s hands


I find it especially weird that a lot of people don’t remember their childhood but I remember practically every moment. The other day I was in the grocery store and I came across a jar of Grandma’s molasses. I said to myself, wow it’s been a long time since I’ve even seen this. So I bought it. Mind you I’m on a diet but I decided to have a couple of spoons of molasses in low fat milk instead of a meal. This is something I used to do when I was a kid but for a different reason. So after having a swig, I started having flashbacks.
When I was younger, I used to spend a lot of time with my grandparents down in North Carolina. They lived very close to the earth. By that I mean everything that they ate was homegrown. One of the favorite things that I loved was buttered biscuits and molasses. I can still remember seeing the steam coming from a freshly opened hot homemade biscuit. Dipping your biscuit in a small part of molasses and wolfing it down was my version of nirvana.
I also remembered my grandmother canning fruits (and a various assortment of other things). I remember asking myself why do they call it canning when you’re putting stuff in jars?
One of my other favorite things was the way my grandmother used to make corn off the cob. She had this tool, for lack of a better description, that was essentially a piece of wood with an opening in it. This opening had a metal blade in it and it was used to strip the kernels from the corn. I can still hear her humming as she was preparing a batch for dinner.she would stir-fry this in a pan with butter and it would be so frigging good. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I’ll make some myself soon.

So, there I was, in my kitchen with my molasses milk, which I was having in a mason jar, souvenir courtesy of Joe’s Crab Shack, in complete awe of how many memories one sip could bring.