There are none so blind..

I got my new glasses today. I’m blind as fuck. I feel handicapped when I have to read the eye chart. I’ve come to terms with needing bifocals. Actually I’d done that some time ago, but now I can’t read shit with a distance prescription. Now I wear bifocal contacts as well, but the glasses do a much better job. I have the progressive lenses, meaning you can’t see that line that separates the two prescriptions. Thank god for technology because the ones with the lines make a person look old. I’m old, but I don’t look it…well it’s starting to become harder to fake but I have some time left. Getting older is a bitch, fucking knees, back  hurting. I’m like damn, whats the point? Kick me in a hole already..

Why do people think when they say, your glasses make you look intelligent that it’s a compliment? That’s the equivalent of saying your natural face makes you look stupid. I hated glasses growing up. Back then they were horrid. Back in the 80’s I had these big ass windowpane joints. All I needed were fucking windshield wipers. As a teenager I didn’t wear them but needed them. Everybody thought I was upset or a mean bastard. I just couldn’t see shit. When I was 21 I ventured into contact lenses. At the time they had just started making semi-hard lenses. When I got the nerve to try them, I realized that I’d made a mistake. First of all they were hard. Like having fingernails on your eyeball. When you blink it would irritate your eyelid so I ended up with this big eyed stare. Now my eyes are huge and that was not a cool look. I actually looked like that big eyed racial caricature that supposedly represented black men. I looked like I was trying to hypnotize some kind of Afro-Svengali. I suffered through that phase all in the name of vanity. Those shits would dry up and pop out at the most fucked up times. Once I was driving on the highway at night. I rolled down the window to get some air and both my lenses blew out. That was some scary shit. I’m surprised I made it home. Not to mention I’d been drinking and smoking. Word of advice..DO NOT TEXT WHILE DRIVING. That shit is dangerous. I know because I did it. Everytime I looked down, some shit would happen in front of me. I had to come to my senses and realize that it was a very stupid thing to do. Anyway..I’m kinda done…I will take my tired ass to bed.

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